Disappointment Prevention & Self-Soothing – 2/7/17

I marched on Saturday, January 21st, 2017.

My activism has tended to be in my inner world and daily choices, and it was a powerful experience to collectively stand up for equality and humility.

After a day full of diverse energy, I spent the afternoon with a dear friend. The calmness of her little apartment was a safe haven from the whipping wind and wild energy in the air as millions marched for their beliefs.

In that tiny apartment, with the guidance of my friend I courageously toured my own beliefs, the ones that go un-seen on a regular basis; the ones that lurk in the shadows whispering old stories and unconscious thoughts into my mind.

I came to a realization on that pivotal day the power of disappointment.

My beloved friend and I discussed that often the hurt, fear, and anger we experience in life is disappointment. Being bummed out that something worked out differently than we planned or wanted it toNaming the emotion I’m experiencing allows me to create space for it, sit with it, sooth myself and watch as the wave pass.

I’m disappointed about who is President of the United States. I’m disappointed that there is war in the world. I’m disappointed in myself for moments I have F’ed up and I knew better. I’m disappointed for the carelessness and disregard for the well-being of a fragile ecosystem. I’m disappointed in cultural norms and standards that I do not agree with and yet sometimes unconsciously abide by. I’m disappointed.

Preventatively clearing disappointment means taking the time and creating the space to clear out the gunk and muck of old disappointments that have settled, that we may not be aware of. To prevent the last straw from breaking the camel’s backs, clearing out old energy regularly means negative triggers are less likely to pop up at any ol’ time.



In a safe, quiet space pose the question: What am I disappointed about? What has not gone “my way” that I’d like to let go of? Allow the answer to emerge, feel it and honored until it dissolves. 

Experiencing disappointment comes from having an attachment or expectation. I have yet to conquer the task of creating no expectations and I look forward to the day I create less and therefore will experience less disappointment.

Until then, call upon old, clingy negativity, feel it, sooth yourself and watch and transformation.

Preventative disappointment and self-soothing practices: Cord clearing. Take time to lay down in a quiet space. Support your body as you need to (blanket under the head and/or knees). Take several deep breaths and relax the body as much as you can. Once relaxed, call to mind anything that is holding on that you no longer need (you can say “I release all the cords of energy that are not mine. I send anything that is not mine back to its creator and back to the Earth”). Feel the ties of energy release from you as you return to purity.

Create a Self-Soothing Kit. Use the five senses to calm the body and mind.

  • Sight.
    • Pictures of your favorite nature spots, or shots of family and friends at a memorable gathering
    • Art supplies-a sketchbook and markers or colored pencils to sooth you as your create (be process-oriented)
  • Sound.
    • Create a playlist of your favorite mellow tunes to rest and relax to
    • Go out to nature and listen for the sounds of the elements and critters
  • Taste.
    • Include dark chocolate or delicious teas (mint, ginger or licorice root)
  • Touch.
    • Have soft materials, a favorite cozy sweater or feathers to tingle, delight and mellow you out
    • Ask a friend or partner for some extra snuggles and hugs
    • Cozy up in your bed and wrap your arms around yourself, giving yourself a hug
    • Rest in child’s pose with your forehead directly on the earth
  • Smell.
    • Incense, or essential oils to sniff and seep into your being.
    • Walk up to a tree and breathe in the aroma

Creating space for blocked negative emotions to move through means we are clearing house regularly, allowing energy to stay in movement so we can be in the flow of life. Remember you are your own safe-space creator. You are the author of your own story. Be disappointment, and then be joyful!


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