Digital Detox, Silence, Solitude & Surprising Distractions – 1/17/17

Yesterday I did a “digital detox”. I turned off my phone and computer on Sunday evening and did not turn them back on until Tuesday morning. It may seem like no-big-thing to refrain from looking at a screen for an entire day, yet to someone who spends a lot of time on both, for work and pleasure, I had the experience of what the day was like.

In addition to no technology, I did not read or write, and I covered the clock so I did not know what time it was. Typically, on a day without the digital world, there would be plenty of time for reading and writing. My intention was to create a “distraction-free” day. I wanted to see what happens in the space without something to do.

silent-listening

I had smooth moments, and bumpy ones, and overall felt like I could go incredibly deep detoxing for more than a day. I did a lengthy yoga practice in the morning, and mid-day, and in the evening. I meditated after each yoga session. I ate food slowly, sitting quietly in the sun of the window seat. I went for a long walk in the cool afternoon air and took a long bath in the evening.

During my time housesitting, I’ve been practicing yoga and meditating each morning. During this distraction-free day, I had less thought of what time it was and how I “should get to work,” so I dropped into my meditation more deeply, and noticed the moments where I squirm in restlessness. With no time limit on my meditation, I was allowed to sit and sink into the quiet stability of empty space.

Without facebook or email to pull me away from a task, or a text or phone call to do the same; I realized my mind is its own distraction, jumping around with half-formed thoughts and nonsense chatter. The realization that my mind is often distracted, buzzing, Monkey-ing around, means I can stop giving the distractions so much power, I can stop wasting time shaming myself for being distracted. If my mind is going to be distracted no matter what, I might as well release any story that I “should or shouldn’t” be distracted, and come back to presence whenever I notice I’m distracted.

During my detox I also realized how frequently I leave my little-me behind; the small-innocent-essence of myself that is always present and does not talk loudly. I had a story that this part of me couldn’t hang in the world of work, deadlines and “to-do” lists. On my mat, this piece of me had space to be, I was quiet enough to hear and she said, “I miss you.” I erupted into tears.

I realize there was a story created while my little-me was a small child, learning to be a human. She received X amount of love, so she made her capacity to receive love X. Now, I believe my capacity to give and receive love is limitless. However, the belief still holds that I can only hold X amount, anything beyond X is denied, painfully so. This old belief of a small love container, combined with a cultural story of never being good enough, and I’m left feeling as though I cannot give or receive my full potential.

Bullshit.

As I soaked in the tub after a wonderful day of silence, I grieved for this little-me, living 28 years with a story that my love-tank is only so big (or small). I asked Spirit to remove the walls from around my heart, which not only protects me from the outside but also confines me to the inside. I prayed for the experience of being my unlimited self, as big as the Universe, to give and receive unlimited love.

Overall: 1. Cut yourself a break, the mind is skilled at being jumbled. Notice, and come back to presence. 2. Remember you are limitless. Your true nature is Freedom, Compassion, and Love.

One thought on “Digital Detox, Silence, Solitude & Surprising Distractions – 1/17/17

  1. Beautiful experience and a wonderful reminder that silence and quiet are gifts to be cherished. What was your last reaction to plugging in on Tuesday? I am saddened by your feelings of limited love as a little girl because my love for has no boundaries and has always been unconditional, at least that’s how I feel about you.

    Liked by 1 person

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