Since my last post, James and I spent almost two weeks in Ashland, grateful the late summer weather was just what we needed, with the seasonal smoke from nearby wild fires rolling in as we were rolling out.
This journey is exactly what it is. I am learning how polarized the world of thoughts, personality, stories, concepts and form is. I see how my mind jumps from one place to the next, searching… efforting… for the “right” answer. In a world where there is no “one right way” how do you know when you’ve found your “right” Unique Authenticity? The answer: Intuition. Listening to your True Nature, being guided as opposed to being the guide.
The second chapter of the Tao Te Ching starts with:
“When people see some things as beautiful,
other things become ugly.
When people see some things as good,
other things become bad.”
In a world of non-duality, there is no one right way, because if one thing is right it automatically makes other things not-right.
I am witnessing how much story I carry around with me, or rather how much my story of Who I Am, and (more predominant) Who I Should Be, carries me around…sometimes kicking and screaming.
I have a story about anything and everything. I label it so my mind can “grasp” what my heart knows to be True, and can’t explain with words. My mind takes experiences and puts words to them in order to “understand” them, to create meaning out of them, instead of trusting they are meaningful and I may not know why.
I am a process junkie, and I can’t handle it anymore. I’m realizing that I’m so addicted to being “in the process” that I don’t allow myself the ease to just Be, exactly where I am; full of flaws and all. My mind always tells me what I could be doing, what else there is to work on (in work, personal development, relationship, health/wellness, environmentalism, community, etc.). I use process as a distraction from doing the actual work, because if I’m still “in process” about it, I don’t have to take steps to change. The real change comes from letting go. And I mean actual Letting Go. Not letting go because it’s what you “need to ” or “should” do. Letting go because holding on to anything in the world means you are not available for what spontaneously arises.
Ram Dass talks about renouncing being a renunciate. Because we find a method that “works” and then we have to let go of the method because the method is not the path, nor the destination. The map is not the territory. The finger pointing at the moon is not the moon.
And the only way to be in love with the moon, is to simply love it. Not philosophize about why you love it, what loving it means to you, what the moon does or doesn’t do that you love so much. Just love it, and let it go. Love yourself, and then move on with your day. And do it over, and over and over again. Drop the story of who you are and what you know about yourself, what you like and dislike, what you know makes you “feel good” or “feel bad”, take a breath and realize you are a tiny mass of moving particles being flung around and around on this planet, whizzing around the galaxy, solar system and universe.
Release your idea of love, or loving or being loved. Quiet down and rest in the experience of Love, it’s right here inside of you. It’s not out there, from them. It’s Here. Now.
Love yourself and move on with your day. Love each other and move on with your day. Love Life, and move on with your day.
Note to Self: